NEW WEBSITE

Hi 
So I am now in need of more than just a blog in order to give more information on my current projects so I have moved my blog to my new website! Click HERE to find it. And save it to your favourites so that you can continue to stay updated on my journey! See you there!
Kirsten Désorcy

Exciting Opportunity!

I am extremely pleased to announce that I have been chosen as one of forty individuals in Canada to take part in the Ocean Bridge (Atlantic) program for 2020-2021! This program is put on by Ocean Wise in British Columbia and is funded by Canada Service Corps and the Government of Canada.

"Ocean Bridge connects Canadian youth from coast to coast to coast empowering them to make a difference towards ocean conservation. Each year a national team of 40 youth (ages 18-30) form a national team engaged in co-creating and delivering service projects for their home communities and two immersive expeditions to address Ocean Health and Ocean Literacy in Canada. 

Ocean Bridge is comprised of three key elements to support youth as they adopt a culture of service for our oceans: 

• Community & Capacity Building
• Ocean Health Extended Service
• Ocean Literacy Extended Service" (Ocean Wise)

As part of the Atlantic team I will get the privilege of traveling to Seaport, Newfoundland for 10 days this July and to Halifax for 5 days in February 2021! All expenses paid. I am beyond excited and happy to get chosen for this amazing program. The program starts in March and so I will keep you all updated with the future projects I will be organizing for Ocean Bridge and posting ways that you can help preserve our beautiful waterways!

To learn more about Ocean Bridge click here.

First Term Completed

It's been awhile since I have made a blog post but I figured I'd better keep you all in the loop... I just finished the first term at the University of Manitoba and the final grades are in.

It is definitely hard. I mean I knew it would be but I figured if I tried my best I could succeed. My expectations were a little too high and I'm a bit disappointed I did not get only A+s but I tried my best and passed - unfortunately I only pulled off a C+ in Stats but the rest were B+ and higher. Four courses are now done and applied to my future degree. I'm loving school. Learning about Biology and Environmental Studies have been the highlights for me. Also, just the fact that I am out there on my own and seeking my dream is refreshing.

There has been a lot of changes in my life this fall. We moved to Steinbach and I quit my job at the daycare. I've been taking driving lessons. I got to witness my brother get married in a trip to Arizona. I've been spending my days in school or with my youngest daughter and my evenings waitressing, studying or working on cape squirrel data organization for Dr. Waterman. My goals are within reach and I'm doing my best to achieve them. I have some important projects in the works that I am excited to share with you but that will have to wait for the New Year. For now I'll keep trudging on, spending my break with my family and enjoying the down time while I can! Thanks for all your support, comments and questions. Happy New Year to you and your families!

Opportunites

photo by: Herbert Kratky

Cape Ground Squirrel

Opportunities can come out of nowhere. I learnt this on my second day of school. I was just walking around campus after my last class when I noticed a squirrel perched on a piece of wood all tucked in and still, its tail curled above its head. I was standing right next to it and it would not move. I started to wonder: Why is it doing that? What is the purpose of having his tail like that? Why isn't it moving?

So, I snapped a picture with my phone.

photo by: Kirsten Desorcy

Red Squirrel

Before starting school I had done some research on the different professors in my department to see which ones I want to take classes with, what they research, etc. I wanted to get a jump start on getting to know my professors and figure out which ones I want to work on. My goal is to get into the Honours program, which means I would need to do some field work to defend an Honours thesis - which I would need an advisor for. Anyways, I remembered that a professor on my list studies squirrels and polar bears and is specialized in animal behaviour. So, I sent her a message asking about this squirrel's behaviour.

Her name is Dr. Jane Waterman and she works with Cape Ground Squirrels (see photo above) in Africa. She responded to my message within the hour and asked to meet with me. I was curious but also very excited. I met with her on the next day I had school. We hit it off and she offered me some volunteer work with her research. Of course I agreed! Any kind of experience I can get gives me a better chance at succeeding in my goals. 

She needed help organizing and correcting her squirrel data and I jumped at the chance. She said it's a boring and long job but I knew I'd enjoy that type of work. 😜 I absolutely love organizing things and being able to study numbers and facts to find connections. Also, in mid-October her PhD student would be coming back from Africa and would need a lot of help to organize all her data and go through video footage. It's all very exciting - it's not whales and dolphins but it's an animal and it's research! 

I met her again the week after to copy her files on a USB so I can start working on it. To be completely honest I am loving this. 😍😆 I have worked on it for 7 hours already and finished 100/912 squirrels in the Trap Data. 

It just goes to show that if you put yourself out there and focus on your goals then opportunities can arise from anything. I'm looking forward to working with Dr. Waterman, she has a lot of experience and offers great opportunities for a new undergraduate student like myself.

Working on some data.

Feeling Good about Starting School

photo by: Kirsten Desorcy

I started University on September 5th. I was so excited. I had made a school board for my daughter that was starting Maternelle and the night before school I looked at it and thought, "I should do that". It's silly for me to fill this out but in a sense I am starting over - starting a new chapter of my life. It's scary and yet exciting all at once. This is a day I want to remember. This is the day I am starting to take my dream to turn it into a reality. On this day I am ready to shift my mindset towards a new lifestyle and career path.

As I mentioned in my first (and feature post) about the reason I decided to change careers I suffer with depression. It comes in spurts and usually is the worst around February-April in the year. Along with the depression I sometimes have trouble keeping my anxiety down and I get panic attacks. Depression and Anxiety is something that comes natural for me - it's genetic and it's also circumstantial. I also am diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder so my anxiety is a very real concern for me sometimes. I'm writing this because I believe sometimes it's very hard for some people to understand that what people often show on the outside is not always how they feel on the inside. Changing career paths is NOT easy, and for me it causes anxiety - especially over finances. I don't know what my future holds any more, I doubt myself and my capabilities every day. I've been wrestling with the decision to even follow this career because I am constantly doubting my capabilities to get through University. What if I am not smart enough?

I am a person that has always worked hard and I am very critical of myself. I tear myself apart. I'm sure many people can relate. Even if I do a good job at something I always think of the negative - what I could have done differently or better. If I got 89% on a test I'm mad at myself because I believe I need to have over 94% always. Even 90% was never good enough and yet a 90 is the same letter grade as a 95. I always put on a façade that I don't care what people think but yet I am my biggest critic.

Taking this picture was something I decided to do out of excitement and symbolism and yet I didn't share it because I know it makes me look silly. Well you know what? It feels good to feel good about something. It feels good to be excited. I didn't realized just how depressed I have become that just a little bit of hope and excitement feels different and fresh.

Over the last 2 years my doctor has been treating my anxiety and depression. I have been on anti-depressants since I was 19 years old but sometimes my doses need to be changed or I get a supplemental anti-depressant for a while. I've come to a point where my current job no longer has been beneficial to my health and even though I want to work and I WANT to excel - my mind and body are too tired to carry on. It makes me feel weak to give up and admit that I can no longer function properly. I feel guilty. I feel like I should just "suck it up" and do it. However, when your family life and relationships start to suffer and it just becomes too hard to be around people you've already fallen too far down. That's me. I've fallen and I had a hard time admitting it.

My light at the end of the tunnel ended up being school. Weird as it might sound to someone who doesn't enjoy things like that. My saving grace and happy place has always been buried in books. I love to learn and I love to challenge my brain. Having my brain challenged like this has created excitement in my life. So why shouldn't I post a photo about my first day of school? It has been like the start of a new beginning. I shouldn't have to feel bad about feeling good. I need to fight off these inner demons and focus on the light. Focus on the positive. Focus on finding the good in every situation. Nobody is perfect so why do we always think we need to be? The focus should be on the journey. All the little steps along the way that form your life and character - some might be hard but the important thing is to stay true to who you are and where your faith lies.

Becoming a Marine Biologist

photo by: Celeste Hebert

I recently read the book Becoming a Marine Biologist by Virginia Morell. It follows the career path of the famous Marine Biologist Dr. Robin Baird. I had already heard of the man from my previous research in the pacific ocean orca populations. He was one of the scientists who had worked with Dr. Michael Biggs - one of the most well known orca researcher of the century - he had created the first orca identification databases by discovering a way to identify orcas by photo ID. This is something I had always just taken for granted because it was already well established by the time I started my research. Dr. Baird had a big part in that research.

Now Dr. Baird has moved past orca research and is working a few different projects, including research of the 26 species of cetaceans in the Hawaiian waters. He is now the world's expert on whales and dolphins in the waters surrounding Hawai'i. This book is small but well written and a great resource for anyone wanting to enter the field of cetacean field research. It opens your eyes to the daily struggles, financial struggles and physical struggles that can arise in the career. It's not all fun and games - it's hard work.

I am still determined to follow my dream despite the many possible struggles. I also have some personal struggles I will have to overcome as well but if you don't have goals - you have no purpose. I've decided to take what I learnt and make myself a list of career goals to accomplish to give myself the best chance possible in the career. Some are small and some are bigger. Some may change as time goes on. The more schooling and experience I gain the more I will learn and possibly change my tone. But here goes:

•  Retake Pre-cal 40S 
•  Declare my Major in Biological Sciences (Ecology & Environmental Studies)
•  Get accepted into the Honours program
•  Learn to drive and get my license
•  Have no grade lower than a B
•  Get a job with animals (preferably in animal care, research and rehabilitation)
•  Get a professor to take me on as a student and become my advisor
•  Learn to drive a boat and get my license
•  Volunteer at the Assiniboia Park Zoo in their Research Center
•  Learn archery
•  Learn to shoot
•  Learn specific techniques to observation
•  Start working on different theories and research topics
•  Learn to fly (far fetched but whatever)
•  Get my Undergraduate degree
•  Get my Masters degree
•  Get my PHD
•  Learn to scuba dive
•  Take swimming lessons

The goals in bold are the ones I can work on NOW. So I am. I registered to take Pre-cal 40S through Government Manitoba website and started working on it. I never finished it in high school and therefore I cannot take 3 of my required classes this year. My goal is to try to finish it and ACE it by the end of November. So far I have finished 3/22 assignments and 0/2 exams. It's a start. 😀

I really REALLY need to learn to drive a car. The fear has always held me back - but I need to do it. I WILL do it. I must just find the time and courage. I will slowly work on all these goals and would love some feedback and encouragement. I'll keep you all posted with my progress! School starts in just 6 days! Here I go!

photo by: Celeste Hebert

Changing Careers - Finding My Journey Home

Quote by Barbara Sher

Ever since I was a young girl I was obsessed with animals. I loved books, movies and any photo I could find of animals - especially Orcas. Once I learnt to read that was my sole purpose in life - finding out as much as I could about anything that interested me. My Dad would get these animal leaflets in the mail, along with a binder to organize them in. They were divided into categories and I just LOVED pouring over them for hours and hours, finding out as much information on as many species as possible. We ended up with three binders. I became the animal expert in the family.

My passion was always cetaceans (Whales & Dolphins) and I would get SO excited with all the information I'd learn. I used to follow my Mom around the house telling her story after story. Every project in school involved orcas in some way. Everyone in my family believed I would someday be a Marine Biologist or Veterinarian. Alas, that is not what happened.

In grade 12 every student feels the pressure from their family, friends and teachers to choose a career path. I was torn. My dream had always been to be a research scientist studying animals but I also loved the aspect of teaching people everything I knew. I had volunteered in a veterinarian office for a bit in high school and was worried about my abilities to get through the tough schooling - I didn't think I was smart enough. I had a couple of school applications I was looking at: University of Vancouver (Marine biologist) or University of Winnipeg (School teacher). My serious boyfriend and I discussed my options. In the end we determined that having a long distance relationship was risky and that becoming a biologist would not be a very stable job to raise a family with. So I chose University of Winnipeg.

Starting University at 17 years old was not a smart choice for me. I had never lived on my own, I was a teenager that was raised in a home that had rules and expectations and now I was "free". School was not my priority - and teaching was not my passion. I only lasted two years before dropping out.

After finally getting married to the love of my life and being in the work field a couple years I was looking towards the next steps: establishing a career and starting a family. Being the researcher that I am I decided to enter the 2 year program at Red River College to get my diploma in Early Childhood Education. It was like a teacher but with children under five years old. I knew that the first few years of a child's life is the most important learning stages and I thought that I would change the lives of children and give them my love. I graduated with an A+ in every course and got my diploma with honours. I was hired after my first term practicum at Garderie Les P'tits Brisous. I loved it. I've now been there nearly 8 years, leaving only for my two maternity leaves.

Over the last couple of years I started to develop a lot of anxiety and stress with my job. I still loved being with the kids but having my own kids the same ages and in the same center was wearing me down. I had no more patience, I felt discouraged, exhausted and unfulfilled. I was good at my job but my passion disappeared. My husband was concerned about me - I wasn't the same girl he fell in love with. I used to be animated and happy and passionate. I just chalked it up to the fact that kids tire you out (true for the record...). My kids are now 4 & 5 and starting to be a lot more independent, my husband is often busy and it got me thinking. Who am I now? What makes me happy?

My eldest daughter (Savannah) loves to learn and absolutely loves animals - just like me. I love the questions she asks and I love researching the answers for her. It gets me so excited. I've always enjoyed school and have been toying with the idea of going back for over two years. I always said I regret not even trying for my dream job. But you know what? I wouldn't have all that I have now if my life would have taken another path. I may not have my husband and daughters, and I would never change that for anything. I know for a fact I would not have had the determination and maturity then that I have now to pursue this. So I took the plunge.

I applied to the University of Manitoba and I got accepted. I applied for student loans and got accepted. My husband is being supportive. I talked to my job and they are willing to work with me. I'm actually going to go for it. I feel like I have a purpose again, I'm refreshed and excited. I'm showering the kids at work with love again. My mind is being challenged and I'm loving it. The stress and depression has lifted and I'm looking forward to starting my new journey. It's not going to be easy - at ALL but I am determined. I will only be attending school two days a week this year to start because I have a family to provide for but I don't care because I'm doing it!

Starting a new career at 30 years old is no easy feat. In the end we will always regret the things we did NOT do, and not the things we did do.

If I can just TRY, that's all that matters to me. It might take me ten years but at this point I am just feeling overjoyed to be given the chance to challenge my brain again and learn new things - things I am passionate about. My first step is getting an Undergraduate degree in Biological Studies in the Ecology and Environment area. It's a 4 year program (full time). Also, getting a job in animal care and (hopefully) research, education and rehabilitation would be ideal. In the meantime I am going to use my current diploma to continue to make a difference in the lives of young children and allow God to use my talents wherever I am needed.

I decided to start this blog to share my journey, whether it succeeds or not and to encourage other people to follow their dreams. I am very blessed to have family and friends in my life that support me and my dreams. Thank you.